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10 Things That Cause Men To Cheat

I regularly get mail from women asking why men cheat. It seems to be one of those age-old questions that keeps on going. The reason for this is probably because there is no one single magic answer to why men cheat but rather it's down to a number of different reasons and depends on the particular situation and the particular man.

Most women will blame themselves in some shape or fashion for their man having cheated. The truth is that some men will cheat for reasons that have completely nothing to do with you others will cheat for reasons that do have to do with you.

To distinguish the difference in your case, you need to have a good knowledge of your boyfriends’ psychological makeup and know what makes him tick. In my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology" I show how you can get inside the mind of a guy you like or are going out with and use it to your advantage to make him fall for you.

What should I be looking out for?

While the exact reasons a guy might cheat depends on you being able to get inside his particular mind and see how it works, I’ve laid out here 10 of the more general reasons for why men cheat.

  1. Growing apart: One reason why men cheat that is similar to why women cheat is that the relationship has come to a natural end and you've both grown apart. After the initial excitement of your relationship has died down he may have discovered that you both don't really have a lot in common.  Considering this, if he meets someone that matches him better, he might want to see more of them. In my book, I show how to guard against growing apart in relationships.

  2. Regular arguments: Looking for a means of escapism from an unhappy, over argumentative relationship is another reason why men cheat. Whether the arguments are caused by him, you or both of you, you should examine your conversation style to make sure you're not being overly critical with him.

  3. They got the chance to: Generally speaking, men are offered sex less than women and consequently some men may find it hard to turn down an offer for fear he won't get another one. The popular saying is true that some men’s’ faithfulness is dependent on what options they have available to them.

  4. He doesn't love you anymore: If he has said, or you suspect, that he doesn't love you anymore, what this really means is that his subconscious no longer considers you a match for him and so has caused him to not love you anymore. If you want to make him fall in love with you again, you'll have to match his lovemap's specifications. I go through this in detail in my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology".

  5. Ego: After a guys been with a girlfriend for any length of time, he may start to miss the thrill of the chase and the ego boost that this used provide. He may start flirting with girls again to make sure he "still has it". However in time, this can lead to him taking it further and wanting to know if he can still succeed at getting a woman into bed.

  6. Inadequate sex life: Men can cheat if they have a desire to experiment with new things sexually. They may not be comfortable trying or talking about these sexual things to an established girlfriend out of fear of embarrassment and so they look elsewhere. Also men can cheat if their partner is disinterested in sex or doesn't provide enough of it. In any case, you can see why it's important to be comfortable talking openly about sex to your boyfriend to make sure he's satisfied in this department.

  7. To see if they can get away with it: The thrill behind knowing that they can cheat on you and successfully hide is enough for some men to cause them to want to do it. It may come from an area of insecurity if he thinks he isn't intelligent or smart so he tries to outsmart both you and his new girlfriend and feel as though he is clever.

  8. Cheating is exciting: Cheating is dangerous, new and involves sex. It's a good combination. The problem is that this excitement is only short lived and the pain of being found out far outweighs the initial excitement. Despite this, some men are willing to do it. Cheating can be for them a means of getting to have sex with someone new. This explains why men can sometimes cheat on their girlfriends with women that aren't as good looking as their girlfriend.

  9. Uncomfortable comfortness: If a relationship has dulled down to a point where it feels too safe, too familiar, too boring the man may decide that he's missing something from his life. It doesn't necessarily mean that he cheats because he wants the other woman, but rather just wants to have something on the side to add spice to his life.

  10. Cheating as a sequel to an earlier cheating episode: If a guy cheated once and the woman took him back too easily, it doesn't act as much of an incentive to not want to cheat on her again. The problem with taking back a cheater is that you've basically said it's ok to cheat on you. In essence a line has been crossed and when it has - there's no going back.

Why men cheat - Final note

While some of the reasons above may logically explain why men cheat, it's important to be aware that cheating on your partner is never justified. If one of the individuals feels they are unhappy in a partnership, the best solution is to talk about it with their partner and if that fails, consider the possibility of separating and breaking up. 

However, if you know the above reasons for why men cheat, you will recognize them if they crop up in your relationship and can deal with them before they result in cheating. This is the surest way to guard against cheating.

Need more info?

Yes, when is the right time to confront my partner about possible cheating?

What does the high rate of marriage infidelity tell us about human nature?

How do I avoid assumption paralysis and overcome inscurity in relationships?

How can I use the power of forgiveness for cheating?

Is dating a married man a bad deal for a woman?